Buttalo

Buttalos are fat, grazing, and stupid creatures. Don't listen to David Attenbourgh, if he said those creatures are magnificent, your'e wrong, they're dumb.

Description
A buttalo has a shaggy, long, dark brown winter coat, and a lighter weight, lighter brown summer coat. But we all know that the buttalos themselves are heavier than Pacha (damn that's heavy!). As is typical in ungulates, the male buttalo are slightly larger than the female. Head-and-body length ranges from 210-350 cm (83-138 in) long, the tail adding 50-60 cm (20-24 in), and the huge-ass ass which is bigger than all those parts combined. Shoulder height in the species can range from 152 to 186 cm (60-74 in). Typical weigh can range from over 9000 kg to an infinite number of kgs. The heaviest wild bull ever recorded weighed, well. It's ╥ but the decimal point moved ALL the way to the last number. The heads and forequarters are massive, and both sexes have short, curved horns that can grow up to 2 feet (16 centimeters) long, which they use in fighting, by poting their horns, in their butts, causing them to explode.

Defense
Like a bomb, slapping it's butt will trigger it to run around and get all crazy, until it explodes. Unexpected attacks can occur. Usually, a stampede of buttalos, is usually triggered by one buttalo that gets slapped on the butt. A scream is 300 decibels, causing a stampede. The scream is ear raping, high pitched, and annoying.

Food
Buttalos are used in many dishes. They are commonly used for Buttalo Wings and Buttalo Chips. And yes, we know that Buttalo Chips are just poop from it. But trust us, we tasted it before, and it was GOOD.

Relatives
The Annoying orange

Hot Fudge Sundae Poptarts

Roger the Alien